Lost
I'm having that all so familiar feeling I used to have in primary school. When after that long December holiday comes the New Year Day public holiday where we take out our school uniforms again, shove in our new books into our ninja turtle school bags (sorry there were no powerpuffs that time), plaster our bata shoes with white paint. In other words, its that feeling of dread.
I've moved almost everything to hostel, except the most important thing - myself. Ok, that sounds cheesy and super lame, but its so hard to detach myself from my home suddenly. No one to help me wash my stuff, no SCV to watch at home, no air-con, no phone to chit chat with chums, no brother to nag at and love at the same time, no parents who nag at and love at the same time. Yes, its a bleak world and I feel lost.
Maybe I'm over-reacting, being a drama drag over the whole incident. I'll make new friends, start a new life and face new challenges. Which is quite cool too. I get to start afresh, mine is a blank slate now, and I can write new adventures and stories in my great big book of life.
I still like to flip back the pages and recall happy moments though. Those in secondary sch, JC and at work. The primary sch pages are a little blurred with age, the wordings hard to decipher, and the photos faded. Good thing that my friends still stay. I guess I really need time to adapt to changes. I miss the old times, the old friends, my old self. Its so nostalgic to see my juniors compete on the track, to hear and console and soothe the very same feelings and worries I once shared with my seniors. To chat with old friends about those "good ole days" and to laugh and joke like no time has been lost between us. We were never apart.
I have not been running for ages (think nationals in 2003), and I've declared many a times that I want to stop. I am fickle, forgive me. I think I'll still run. Its my life. And I love it (at times).
p/s: I regret shaving my legs. The hair is growing out, and it is thicker than before, and longer too (as I forsee). Think I'll have to try waxing or just leave it and hope I don't turn into a hairy orang utan.
I've moved almost everything to hostel, except the most important thing - myself. Ok, that sounds cheesy and super lame, but its so hard to detach myself from my home suddenly. No one to help me wash my stuff, no SCV to watch at home, no air-con, no phone to chit chat with chums, no brother to nag at and love at the same time, no parents who nag at and love at the same time. Yes, its a bleak world and I feel lost.
Maybe I'm over-reacting, being a drama drag over the whole incident. I'll make new friends, start a new life and face new challenges. Which is quite cool too. I get to start afresh, mine is a blank slate now, and I can write new adventures and stories in my great big book of life.
I still like to flip back the pages and recall happy moments though. Those in secondary sch, JC and at work. The primary sch pages are a little blurred with age, the wordings hard to decipher, and the photos faded. Good thing that my friends still stay. I guess I really need time to adapt to changes. I miss the old times, the old friends, my old self. Its so nostalgic to see my juniors compete on the track, to hear and console and soothe the very same feelings and worries I once shared with my seniors. To chat with old friends about those "good ole days" and to laugh and joke like no time has been lost between us. We were never apart.
I have not been running for ages (think nationals in 2003), and I've declared many a times that I want to stop. I am fickle, forgive me. I think I'll still run. Its my life. And I love it (at times).
p/s: I regret shaving my legs. The hair is growing out, and it is thicker than before, and longer too (as I forsee). Think I'll have to try waxing or just leave it and hope I don't turn into a hairy orang utan.
posted by huijing at
7/18/2004 11:29:00 PM
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